Unfriending Grandma and Other Awkward Facebook Moments

What did we do before Facebook?  It's a dim memory, but there was a time in the not-so-distant past that you would not know what your friends were making for dinner unless you happened to call them while they were making dinner or, if you were lucky, they had invited you for dinner.  Your friends actually had to return from vacation before you saw their pictures, if you ever saw them at all.  In fact, you may not have even known that your friend went on vacation unless they asked you to take their dog or pick up their mail.  Family pictures and milestone moments were shared in annual holiday letters.  Remember those days?

Everyone, it seems, has a Facebook page.  My kids are on Facebook.  I am on Facebook, much to the chagrin of my kids (exacerbated when their friends start friending me).  Hell, my mom is on Facebook.  Personally, I think it's hilarious.  Our family banter lends itself very well to social media.  More on that later.  Even though we live close, it's fun to be able to share pictures and goings-on.  We've had a few tense Facebook moments, though.  My kids, and my daughter in particular, like to post random song lyrics as their status.  If these were quotes from The Sound of Music or a Shirley Temple movie, it wouldn't cause a stir.  But don't look for any "I have confidence in me" or "on the good ship Lollipop" statuses from my kids.  No, they like to quote songs that are dark and freaky.  Before my mother caught on to this, she would call or text me (yes, text-my mom's pretty tech savvy) to make sure everything was OK and confirm that the offspring in question hadn't, in fact, jumped off a bridge or robbed a liquor store.  Recently, my youngest "unfriended" Grandma.  Seriously, how do you unfriend your grandmother??  That's harsh!  My daughter unfriended Grandma, but then relented and refriended her.  Fortunately, my mom is good-natured and rolls with all these punches.  I think every kid should be required to friend their grandma on Facebook.  You shouldn't reveal anything on Facebook that you wouldn't want your grandma to know.  It's a good rule.

I previously mentioned our family banter.  I come from one of those families where the barbs can come fast and furious.  It's always (usually?) in good fun.  We resolved our sibling rivalry years ago.  Really.  A recent back and forth with my sister on Facebook quickly devolved into a tell-all about our childhood posters and apparel.  In the course of this dialogue, I outed her adoration of "Little" Jimmy Osmond.  She, in turn, threw me under the bus for my "poncho phase."

I admit it, I had a poncho.  I loved my poncho.  It was the 70's for God's sake.  What else was there to wear?  But I felt I had to defend myself.  My defense-I was only appeasing my crazy old aunt who had knitted it for me.  Perfect.  I'll just roll my long-dead, crazy aunt under the bus!  Uh, guess what?  My mom (did I tell you that my mom is on Facebook?) set the record straight.  Turns out that my beloved poncho was not, in fact, knitted by said dead, crazy aunt.  Rather, it was crafted by my still living, decidedly un-crazy aunt.  And guess what else?  Yes, she is on Facebook.

So now, I throw myself on the sword.  Aunt Karen, I loved my poncho!  I loved it then, and I yearn for it's 70's grooviness today.  If I had a modicum of craftiness I would love to knit another one.  Alas, I am bereft of any such ability.  I can knit, but I can't cast off.  Which means, basically, that I can knit so long as I don't stop.  It's my own private hell.   I hope you understand that my Facebook comments were really the bitter rantings of a woman with no artistic skills.